• high school teacher: yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week
  • college professor: hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.

alphabitches:

Sticks and stones may break your bones but tv shows and books will crush your soul to a million pieces

(Source: alphabitches)

lifesanemotionalrollercoaster:

c4cti:

sometimes i wake up with a very urgent thought on my mind and it’s usually pretty dumb like ‘je suis un pomme' or 'root beer fairytales' but this morning i woke up and sat there for a second and all i could think was

tis i,

the frenchiest fry

I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN CLASS

queeniman:

mijita00:

me

shit we should all take some pointers from her.

capslockapocalypse:

thenudebootysnatcher:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

wat


give him to me

capslockapocalypse:

thenudebootysnatcher:

necrophilofthefuture:

Meet Pickles, aka “Catosaurus.” He was rescued in Boston and he’s over 3 feet long.

wat

give him to me

soofdope:

Nailed it.

17 Things I Learned Before I Turned 17


1. It’s okay to say no to going out sometimes. Don’t make an excuse. Admit that you’re too tired. Or that you just don’t feel like it.
2. Wear what makes you happy. If you like how compliments feel, it’s okay to try and fish for them. If you like how compliments feel, but not how a skirt does, wear sweatpants and brag about how comfortable you are.
3. Make dumb jokes. Take advantage of puns.
4. Let your room get really mess before you clean it. You’ll feel more accomplished.
5. A little stress is okay. It nudges you along. A lot of stress is not okay. It makes your chest hurt.
6. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare yourself to more successful people. Don’t compare yourself to less successful people. You are your own scale.
7. Drink lots and lots of tea.
8. Stop trying so hard to make memories. They won’t fit your expectations and everything will seem smaller than it is.
9. Dream bigger than reality. Larger than life.
10. Don’t lie to yourself. Let yourself feel emotions, and then let them float away. They’re all equally important and equally fleeting.
11. Stop second-guessing. Eat in front of people. Back into a parking space. Change shirts in public. You’re only as awkward as you let yourself be.
12. Make conversation. If anyone looks at you funny, they’re nervous too.
13. When you make mistakes, let yourself laugh. Laughing is accepting that your mistake can provide momentary joy to others, and even to you.
14. Listen to music that matches your mood. Cry to sad music. Or even to happy music. Scream the words to your favourite songs and laugh when you sound awful.
15. Stay up late watching episode after episode. Then sleep late the next morning.
16. Go to a concert alone and without a phone. Meet new people. Close your eyes and feel the bass in your bloodstream.
17. Eat whatever you want. Run, if it makes you feel good afterwords, but don’t regret what made you happy earlier.

My 17th birthday is soon and the world is too big to not write this down (via alexgaskarthhasruinedmylife)

dajo42:

the generation that cancelled firefly and removed pluto’s planetary status are getting too old to stop us bringing both of them back